The First Goodbye
by highway-salvation
Summary: After Sam leaves, Bobby takes Ryan back on the road with him--forcing her to say goodbye to Dean--her best friend, her partner in crime--for the first time.


It was getting progressively more difficult to contain the tears that were shielding over my eyes. I could hear my dad's voice, jabbering on about how we had to do the right thing and leave the Winchesters' to heal on their own. But I wasn't really listening. He'd lost me at _'You're gonna have to come back on the road with me, Ry. For good_.' How was I suppose to listen to anything after he dropped that bomb?

"And what if I don't want to go?" I asked bitterly, not even attempting to look my father in the eye.

"It don't really matter if you wanna go or not, little lady. You're comin' if I have to haul you over my shoulder and handcuff you to the car," he huffed, angry with me for testing him.

I couldn't believe it. How could he leave me alone with this family for weeks on end--allowing me to grow attached to them--and then just expect me to up and leave whenever he felt like it? I crossed my arms tightly over my chest and let out an exasperated sigh, hoping that my body language would give him the message that I didn't want to hear anymore of his philosophical friendship hoo-ha.

"I know you're not happy about this, Ryan. I know you and those boys got pretty close... but they got enough to deal with. And we don't need to add to their load. I'll give you a few minutes to get your duffle together and say goodbye," he ordered, immediately standing and exiting the motel room.

I rolled my eyes and relaxed in my chair when I heard the door click. How was I gonna survive without my two best friends in the world? Sam, good old Sam, always ready with the logical explanation for everything, always offering the sweet, supportive shoulder to cry on. And Dean--don't even get me started on Dean--how was I suppose to have fun unscrewing the salt shakers at diners without him? How was I supposed to perfect my aim with my new 12 gauge without him? A world without the Winchesters' wasn't a world that I wanted to be a part of. I wasn't just angry. I was heartbroken.

"What's up your butt?" a familiar voice sounded in the doorway.

Interjoined motel rooms weren't always the best for awkward situations. I tried to smile a somewhat believable smile for him, but he would see right through it.

"Looks like dad wants me back on the road with him."

There was a slight pause, and I knew all of my "what am I supposed to do without my partner in crime" questions were running through his mind in that moment. We were almost like two peas in a pod, minus all of the top-of-your-lungs fighting. But hey, it wasn't my fault he belched and blew it in my face on a regular basis, flushed the toilet when he knew damn well I was in the shower and always took the last piece of pie. He was a pain in the ass, and I had no problem letting him know that. But despite all of that, I really didn't want to deal with the demons and the vampires without him. I didn't really want to deal with anything without him.

"You're kidding..." he said, his voice now laced with defeat.  
"Nope. Told me to pack my things and say my goodbyes... we'll be hitting the road in no time. Leaving you and John to patch your family back up. Bobby doesn't want me to be in the way."

Dean's face was reply enough. When it came to matters of his family, he knew just when to close off his heart. Even though he didn't really want me to go, he knew that Bobby was right. They needed to fix things without the distraction of a bored eighteen year old girl.

"Well, look, Ry, you know you're always welcome on the road with us--"

"It's okay, Dean. I know that you guys need time. It just sucks is all..."  
"You're tellin' me. I'm the one that's gotta deal with my extremely pissed off dad all the time. And now I won't even have you around to tell me lame jokes and try to make me laugh anymore," he answered, always trying to make light of even the worst situation. I'd miss that.

He sat on the bed while I packed my stuff, keeping a close eye on me. He always did that. I wasn't quite sure why, but it made me feel safe. I'd miss that too. After I finished, I slung my duffle over my shoulder and straightened up, watching as he stood up as well.

"So, I guess this is goodbye, Winchester." I rasped, surpised at how well I was holding myself together.

"Just for now, Singer. You're not gonna get rid of me that easy." I smiled at that, nodding in agreement.

I started to walk towards the door, ready as I'd ever be to leave my second family behind.

"Hey, Ry--hold up," I stopped in my tracks, and turned around to face my best friend. He was rushing towards me with something in his right hand. He stopped about a foot away from me, and placed something over my head. I looked down to see his necklace hanging around my neck. I looked up at him, surprise in my eyes.

"Dean--"  
"It's a protection amulet. It'll keep you safe--since I know you like to get yourself into trouble, and I won't be there to save your ass anymore--I figure you probably need it more than I do."  
"Thank you," it was all I could muster up. I was completely taken back.

"Take care of yourself, Singer." I nodded, and walked out of the motel room--shutting the door on the only home I'd ever known.


End file.
